The brand new Hampshire: Steeped However, Embarrassed About any of it

The brand new Hampshire: Steeped However, Embarrassed About any of it

Look at the ways the guy with pride smiles up in the you against their cell phone screen as he dangles his Connect of the day between the base regarding his products jeans-clothed feet! You already know the individuals purse are only filled with carabiners, hooks, and you will zip-links! Imagine the adorable Boy Scout you decided to go to basic college with. Think about the way they was indeed very useful and realized all the various categories of tangles? Okay, today visualize them grown up-up and declining to help you Venmo your $250 getting his 1 / 2 of the brand new abortion. Now image your ascending into the sunrays, which he calls “nature’s alarm clock.” Actually, I don’t know that’s worse.

Nebraska: This new Armchair Quarterback

You’ve undergone three (3) coffee dining tables this present year since your boyfriend, an armchair quarterback regarding Nebraska, erkekler neden Rumence kadД±nlarД± seviyor will not prevent smashing all of them in frustration whenever his group loses. The guy categorically won’t accept that the players can not pay attention to him of their family room and you will, thus, his article-fumble “Come on. ” scream try loud. Most of the Tuesday, without fail, you’re sometimes paying attention to him call most of the advisor and you can user a great banging moron, or cold during the tailgate – never in the actual games, even though. He will never over come the only season and he was almost a third-string go-into kicker towards Huskers, and since the guy talks about every thing the fresh new really big date, neither do you.

Nevada: The fresh new Perma-Bachelor

If perhaps my match complement me and Bradley Cooper’s performed on the Hang over, thinks the latest Las vegas Fuckboy, after that my entire life was done. Indeed there he happens, prowling from pub along with his clothing undone one to key too of numerous, slurring his terminology and you may sloshing his martini. If only it tasted as nice as they look, he magic so you can themselves. Never ever inquire him when planning on taking away from their glasses, because they are covering up a set of crusted, bloodshot attention which were once innocent and you will laden with life. He could be today a taking walks group servers, repeating to his members of the family: “You’ll receive partnered? Loser! It is the single life for me, brah!”, being unsure of he’ll be condemned to enhance a great paunch, assist their costly suit feel discolored and unpleasant, and stay among Vegas slot machine grannies, thumbing home on the machine and consuming a-two-liter bottle out of diet plan Coke, looking to profit the award from his shed youngsters.

“Hi girl, didn’t I see you during the Tri-Kap dager last week?” is a typical beginning gambit of your own The fresh new Hampshire Fuckboy which was Rich But Ashamed Regarding it. An effective Dartmouth people through and through, he’s a perfect vision regarding button-downs, khaki trousers, and you can a blazer and this can be worn during the formals and in the their father’s yacht bar. Query him downright if the they are steeped, he’s going to be quick to inform you his family relations you should never own a private spray – it is simply a stake inside the a discussed G6 between a number of my father’s organization people. And he does not have any a mansion towards the Nantucket, it’s simply a tiny summer-house on seashore near the Obamas’ set. An enjoyable key should you want to put him towards the spot – query your so you’re able to pronounce title from his very costly see (Audemars Piguet) and see him squirm.

The fresh new Mexico: The latest Connect

The new Mexico, it is said, is the belongings regarding spell, a desert where the journey fantasies may come correct. It is closer to a dusty headache where in fact the men smell of dust and smegma. Your brand new Mexican fuckboy, when the he could be away from Albuquerque, could be much too eager to make suggestions attractions out-of Cracking Bad – you are aware, you to definitely home you could potentially throw a pizza pie on to, or you to crystal meth motel – since the that’s all he has. One, and his awesome “I’m the one who hits” shirt (stained), a wide-brimmed cap (will not complement), and you can Heisenberg specs (indeed a little rigorous so they really search during the and leave purple, welt-like indents towards the his lead). When the he is of Santa Fe, expect a comparable however with discussions from the Ayahuasca thus boring you can must hurl your self from the cliffs in the Los Alamos.

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